It's a little intimidating, but the blog is rapidly approaching 50,000 hits. The number boggles my mind as I wrap myself around the idea that my thoughts on sex and my penis have been seen that many times. That breaks down to a little more than 500 views per entry, which is great. (There is a part of me that suggests this must be simple search engine hits, but search engines are a small fraction of the sites sending viewers my way.) Recently a long-term friend who I trust completely started to read the blog, and she had the surprising observation that I might be coming across as more Bi than I might be in reality. I openly admit - here, at least - to being Bi, but I find myself far and away attracted to women more than men on an emotional level. In my history, all  emotional  attachments have been with women. (I'm tempted to use past-tense here, since I haven't really had sex extracurricularly since I started to date my wife.) Among the observations my friend made is tha...

There are only two people who read this blog and know my real identity. Both are close and long-time friends who I know I can talk with and be utterly truthful with the sort of things I discuss here. One of them reached out to me after reading my last entry, and suggested I should have gone into more detail about the weekend and my relationship with the man who was the subject of the essay. Fair enough, I'm going to try to cover some of the details my friend felt should be filled in. First, let's call the man in question Mike. That's not his name but serves to keep me from calling him "the man" for the rest of the page. That's Mike's dick and balls you see up top. The Friday night he recently came over was a pleasant and rewarding surprise. Without repeating myself too much, I needed that restored bond more than I realized. I almost feel like a piece of my puzzle was put back in place. As I wrote last entry, we swam, sat in the spa, tanned, drank wine and ...

  Forgive me, Padre, for it has been many months since I last confessed. The truth of the matter is that I felt I was beginning to be repetitive in much of my posts, and wanted to wait until something new presented itself. Things appear to be going quite a bit better with my health, at least where my groin is concerned. The surgery to remove the vas deferens on my left side has really fixed the constant pain and bruising I had felt for more than a decade. A huge relief by any standard. I still have some remaining post-surgical scarring to deal with, and the left nut is still a tender to the touch, but both things are slowly resolving themselves. My sex life remains non-existent and will be so for the foreseeable future. My wife's condition is the same and I won't press the issue. Any orgasm is a solo act these days. On a more fun and upbeat note, in the last month I've enjoyed several instances of NMNM (Naked Male Naked Male), CFNM (Clothed Female Naked Male) and CMNM (Clot...

          So medical stuff still dominates my physical body, but things are improving. I'm down to to my best weight in the last 25 years, and am exercising 40 minutes in the morning as well as my typical day at work, which involves 10 hours on my feet and carrying 40 pound boxes up and down ladders. Yesterday I was able to lay out by the pool for the first time in more than a month, and it was genuinely relaxing. And, as I've discussed, I was naked at the time - should be interesting early next month when I go in for a complete dermatological workup. Usually I leave my underwear on, but given the sun exposure on my genitals last Summer, I'm not sure if this year's exam will be a bit more personal. Later today I have my annual physical, which is my first in two years thanks to COVID-19. Since my last exam I've had the surgery on my groin to remove my left-side vas deferens. For years my pain and the texture of the vas was misdiagnosed as a varicocele - basically...

  It's been a couple of months since I last posted. Distracted by life, I guess. Physically the surgery I described in my last entry is now deemed a success. The pathology report came back revealing that it was not a blocked vas deferens, but a calcifying one - which explains why the pain was slowly getting worse. Apparently in rare circumstances the vas can calcify. Not sure of the mechanisms or the cause, but as usual my genitals decided they were going to do one more weird thing. (Side note: I've been complaining for more than a decade about the pain, which had been steadily getting worse. Most doctors brushed it aside as symptom of my varicocele. Two ordered ultrasounds of the testicles, neither of which went into the area in question.) The doctor removed some three inches of the vas, effectively giving me a left-side vasectomy, though with a much larger scar. The incision runs around two inches, from the edge of the scrotum up at a slight diagonal. The scar tissue undern...

            Welcome to 2021. It's been a long time since I posted, largely because I really don't have anything new or remarkable to discuss...until now I guess.  Two weeks ago I had surgery. I'm seeing a new urologist. I think my old one will be retiring soon,  though nobody's saying it overtly. Therefore, new blood. And the new guy is thorough and smart. He's the guy I wrote about last year who, on our first meeting, had me naked from nipples to ankles on his ultrasound table as he examined me from the kidneys to the groin. A month ago I was in his office and the pinpoint of pain to the left of my penis had been bothering me for a while. On a scale of 1-10, it was averaging more sixes and sevens than threes and fours. And within a minute of having me drop trow and groping around he pressed down, right on the spot of pain. "Here?" "Exactly!" He pressed a bit more and isolated it, suggesting it was either a cyst or scar tissue pressing on a nerve...

  In college and High School I had a series of friends you would call Fuck Buddies. Friends with whom there was no romantic connection, however sex was very much on the table. It was in many ways a pressure valve for both of us, letting us have sex outside of a traditional relationship. It also allowed for serious experimentation and education, since none of us - whichever FB it was - had an emotional commitment beyond friendship. No strings attached, just glorious sex. My last and best FB was a woman I'll call "Sarah". She and I last had sex around three months before my wife and I began formally dating, though Sarah did show up at my bachelor party. No sex, but a wonderful late night of CFNM (Clothed Female Naked Male) that probably blew my soon-to-be Brother-in-Law's mind. More about that shortly. Sarah and I were terrific friends in college, connecting some time in our sophomore year. I worked at the school's food service unit to make spending money, and she l...