Okay. This blog is about self-discovery and the sexual perspectives of a man in his late 'fifties and somewhat victim - and I use that word very loosely - of the early '80s "I'll fuck anybody" scene. I have been losing weight lately. A considerable amount, with more yet to come. Down fifty,  and another forty in my sites. But that's not why I'm here. I want to examine a lot of my sexual situation from a psychological standpoint, which includes current and changing physiological impacts of the weight change. In many ways the weight loss has brought back some feelings and priorities for me. I've never been exactly modest, but it turns out that being in better physical shape has moved that towards overdrive. If I am fortunate enough to lose the remainder of the weight I want gone, another forty pounds, I am not sure how much my wife will be able to keep me clothed. (Yeah, I'm a little like a toddler in that respect. I think...

Last column I talked about how job changes and other things have led me to a dramatic weight loss, and how that was making me feel both medically and physically. The good news is that I'm down another four pounds, but seem to have hit a wall. So not a lot more to report on that aspect of my physicality. The New Me, tan and all... On the other hand, I'm still enjoying an improved life in other ways. Lil Rambler has become visually larger, a result of the fat pad which surrounds all of our genitals becoming significantly decreased. A thinner man will have lower amounts of fat, therefore exposing more of the shaft of the penis - as you lose weight the dick itself doesn't get longer, it just seems to as the fat retreats. At present Lil has gone from being almost embarrassingly hidden, to usually hanging 3 or so inches limp. I makes a difference. Physically and psychologically. Another aspect of the decreased weight is Rambler's improved function. My erecti...

I had an interesting doctor's appointment last week. Yes, I talk a lot about my medical situation, but it's certainly centerpoint to my current life. This was, as are the most interesting appointments, with a urologist. Recently I've gone to full-time employment and one of the benefits is pretty nice medical insurance. I thought, at the time, that my current urologist didn't take the new insurance, so I set an appointment with a new doctor who - at least online - comes highly rated. My current doctor loves testing. He also focuses on issues *he* sees as important, and often bypasses my true concerns. Not out of hand, but he listens and tends to go other directions. An excellent example of this is the continued pain in my lower left groin. I have a constant achiness in the general area to the left of the penis on the main torso. There's a specific point of pain along the edge of the penis where it's attached to the torso, with some rigidity in the tissue...

Lots of things going on in life, keeping me from updating very often. Plus, I think I've exhausted a bunch of topics and not having a real source of new material it might start to get stale. We're approaching Spring and that means that shortly I'll start being able to lay out by the pool again without getting cold. I'm looking forward to that, provided I get enough time off of work to give me the opportunity. Work has developed into a 50-hour/week occupation, but for the most part I'll have some free time during the day most days. I've become a lot more pale than I like and am looking forward to the relaxation of lying in the sun. The medical front (pun not fully intended) continues unabated. I seem to be coming into another season of unabated attention towards my groin. My urologist commented that I was pretty much a urological trifecta, with problems in my kidneys, testicles and possibly prostate. (He's now very concerned about my last voiding...

So a Men's Issues forum I visit with some regularity has a section on embarrassing doctor's visits. I had an interesting appointment this last week that I recounted and got a few online-style chuckles from the other members. I thought I'd share the story here too. It wasn't really embarrassing - I have a very high threshold for that these days, as my regular readers will acknowledge - but I had a consult with a urologist this last week over whether or not some kidney stones needed to be removed via ureteroscopy. I don't have any pain from them, but my regular urologist wanted me to have a second opinion from a specialist. So I traipsed down to see the new guy and was promptly led into the exam room (very fast, which was nice). After an extended wait one of the secondary doctors came in, apologized for the delay and said the specialist had been called to a different room with an urgent situation. This guy was going to check my vitals and go thro...

I had breakfast with a friend of mine today, and she's one of two close friends who are aware of this blog. She noted I hadn't written anything for some months. So here I am again. My last entry was kind of depressing, I admit. Not that it isn't deserved but I generally prefer to be more upbeat and positive. I do miss sex, and don't have much of any other outlets for my comments on the topic. So that, to remind my readers or catch up someone who's new, is why I write this blog. To discuss my feelings and maybe make contact with someone who is going through things themselves. That noted, Happy New Year. Yes, it's February, but this is my first entry of 2020. A few things to catch you up on: I am consulting a specialist regarding the third botched attempt to destroy a particularly stubborn kidney stone in my left kidney. I've commented in a number of previous entries that I've become used to regularly being stripped naked by doctors and techn...

In just a few more hours I'm heading to a surgery center for yet another medical procedure. My third time blasting kidney stones. (I've asked the doctor if he plans on wearing his glasses this time...) Given that this is the third time in as many years lying semi-exposed on a table with a bunch of people in the room, I've been thinking about my medical history a lot. My lower left quadrant of my abdomen has received considerable attention over the years, and has left me with a complete lack of modesty when it comes to being naked or partially exposed with other people. (Yes, I posed for artists in college. I spent a good chunk of time naked with my friends as well. However, post-college life involved quite a bit less nakedness as my newer friends were all a lot more circumspect about sex and nudity. Not all of them, but the majority.) In the last twenty years I've had numerous medical procedures and examinations which are intimate in nature, and over ti...

In the last year or so I’ve been pretty straightforward in my discussions about sexuality and some of the behavioral aspects of aging as well as what seems, to me at the very least, the constant exposure of my genitalia and discussions regarding them. The majority of Lil Rambler’s appearances are medical in nature and behind closed doors, though I will usually share intimate details of my life with a close few friends. I’m an open book with only a couple of people, but being a blunt sort of guy I don’t bother hiding much from anyone else if asked directly. Which brings me to an odd and re-emerging aspect of my personality: immodesty. In college I had a reasonably well-earned reputation for being naked. Not as a nudist, but someone who posed for art projects, played a fair amount of strip poker, and didn’t bother closing the door to my dorm room or asking anyone of either sex to hide their eyes if I happened to be changing. I had a pretty good physiqu...