This is a difficult entry to write. I've been putting it off and off and off. Every time I go to write down my thoughts I'm blocked. So. Just sucking it up and starting. I am going through a rough patch emotionally. I would never, ever bring this up to my wife. She's having too many issues of her own given her medical challenges, and I am here strictly to support her. But I'm really having difficulty handling the fact we rarely touch. I am a tactile person. Very physically demonstrative and affectionate. With friends as well as loved ones. I love touching people and being touched. Not simply sexually, though who doesn't like that if it's done with the proper approach and affection? I crave the feel of skin to skin contact. Of hands on hands. Of face to face. Nuzzles and gentle cuddling. I'm missing both simple touch and the more complex tactile communications. I firmly believe that all humans are mentally and physically healthier with a g

In just a few more hours I'm heading to a surgery center for yet another medical procedure. My third time blasting kidney stones. (I've asked the doctor if he plans on wearing his glasses this time...) Given that this is the third time in as many years lying semi-exposed on a table with a bunch of people in the room, I've been thinking about my medical history a lot. My lower left quadrant of my abdomen has received considerable attention over the years, and has left me with a complete lack of modesty when it comes to being naked or partially exposed with other people. (Yes, I posed for artists in college. I spent a good chunk of time naked with my friends as well. However, post-college life involved quite a bit less nakedness as my newer friends were all a lot more circumspect about sex and nudity. Not all of them, but the majority.) In the last twenty years I've had numerous medical procedures and examinations which are intimate in nature, and over ti