I strongly believe that each of us should have an intimate friend above and beyond our spouses. By intimate I don't mean sexually, I simply mean we have someone with whom we can talk about almost any topic, touch in intimate ways (not sexually, but intimately) and be ourselves. I mean someone who we can hold and be held, metaphorically and physically. Our spouses are the first line of support, obviously, but there are topics and issues which, of necessity,  you cannot discuss with them (sometimes they themselves are the topics in question). Guys have to talk to guys, and women have to talk to women (or, if you're lucky enough, someone of the opposite sex). There are times when you need someone who can simply be there for you, as both a sounding board and - sometimes - just to put their arm around you, pull you in tight and tell you it's going to be okay. So we need to have that other partner, with whom we can openly talk and be intimate with. For a long whi...

I have a pretty open mind about sexual things. Non-judgmental, even if I wouldn't like to do it myself. As long as everyone involved is a willing - and even enthusiastic - participant, I'm all in. In my mind it's absolutely presumptuous for anyone - anyone - to tell (almost*) anyone else what they're doing is wrong. (* - The exceptions, quite strong, are towards pedophiles and non-human sex. By that I mean animals and necrophilia. I'm perfectly okay with almost any other kind of sex between consenting adults. No more, no less.**) (** - What you do with inanimate objects, like your vibrator or fleshlight, is your own business.) I've been present when people were having sex, usually as a non-participating viewer. That's called voyeurism. In college seeing friends have sex was just part of the crowd I - excuse the expression - "hung out" with. We saw each other naked, and were, at infrequent times, turned on enough (and drunk enough) to jus...

Scopophilia - The Aesthetics of Looking I am a photographer, and a good portion of the aesthetic that goes into being a good photographer is a close kissing cousin, if not a blood relative, of voyeurism. I know many of my fellow photographers will either bristle angrily or nod with appreciation...and no middle ground about it. But largely a good photographer will be a bit of a voyeur, looking in on other people's lives and enjoying the fascination of it. Before you curl your lip in disdain, it's a trait we share with an increasing number of humans, as just a minute glance at any tv listing will demonstrate. We're a species of voyeurs who like to observe others of our species. Scopophilia is the love of looking. We all do it. Whether we're honest and label it as voyeurism, or hide behind other, more politically correct monikers such as "people watching" or "tv show watching", it is something which appeals to our more basic, and ...