Believe it or not, this is my 100th post. Let's examine some intimate stuff. I have stated, repeatedly, that mainstream porn does nothing to get me excited. The clinical lighting, the ridiculous attempts at "plot," and the over-the-top (no pun intended) moans and groans of the actors are off-putting to me. It actively turns me off. On the other hand watching people who are seriously enjoying their sexuality is a real turn on. Yes, I'm an admitted voyeur - though haven't done that in person in more than three decades. Watching completely consenting and enthusiastic participants enjoy their bodies (and those of other people) is both life affirming and erotic for me. Recently I've run across a few people who willingly put their sex lives on the internet. Yes, they're doing it for profit, but they're also very much enjoying the activity and not simply performing for the camera. It's healthy sexuality in plain view. An example of this are Chris and Kate...

Like most people, I have an active fantasy life. Sexual, social, aspirational. The things I know are unlikely, but I still daydream about them. Winning the lottery. Moving to a fabulous New York apartment. Being nominated (and winning) a major award of some kind. Of fulfilling myself sexually at an exotic resort in the Caribbean. These are all fantasies of one sort or another, and almost all of us entertain them at one point or another. And in some cases, those fantasies can come true. In my own fantasy life my daydreams run to some fairly pedestrian levels. And in many cases I managed to fulfill them in some previous iteration of my life, and the fantasy is to have the opportunity to do it again. Chances are remote I'll ever have the chance to have a threesome again. Or fuck on a remote beach. Or wander around naked around friends. On the other hand, it's entirely possible I'll find myself naked in the pool or hot tub with friends...just no sex involved. Which, f...

(Not me, but could've been) (My usual entries are about sexuality, my physical condition and other thoughts, but every once in a while I'm going to discuss incidents which happened in my life and changed/impacted my view of same. This is one such time, and though it may read to some people like a letter to Penthouse, it happened and was an eye opener for me in many ways.) By my third year of college I'd established a bit of a sexual reputation among my friends, though as a group we were all very active and open. Not a bad reputation. The opposite, in fact. Open to virtually all things and not shocked by much,  but also quite considerate of the people I had sex with. In the fall semester of that year a new student arrived in the dorms and was set up as a roommate for one of my regular group. At first we thought the woman - whom I shall call Mary in the time-honored tradition of naming any nun in a story "Sister Mary", although in this case "Mary...

Scopophilia - The Aesthetics of Looking I am a photographer, and a good portion of the aesthetic that goes into being a good photographer is a close kissing cousin, if not a blood relative, of voyeurism. I know many of my fellow photographers will either bristle angrily or nod with appreciation...and no middle ground about it. But largely a good photographer will be a bit of a voyeur, looking in on other people's lives and enjoying the fascination of it. Before you curl your lip in disdain, it's a trait we share with an increasing number of humans, as just a minute glance at any tv listing will demonstrate. We're a species of voyeurs who like to observe others of our species. Scopophilia is the love of looking. We all do it. Whether we're honest and label it as voyeurism, or hide behind other, more politically correct monikers such as "people watching" or "tv show watching", it is something which appeals to our more basic, and ...