I got an email the other day asking whether or not I ought to just admit I'm gay. The writer noted that the majority of my entries seem to focus on male/male relations rather than the more traditional male/female roles. And yes, I get that. To the long term reader I have to admit it looks like I'm far more than the "20%" I suggest here and elsewhere. I am bisexual, but have a much greater appreciation of male/female sexuality than perhaps the majority of my posts suggest. When I started this blog it was to go into and examine my sexuality. As a late-50s male I'm confronting a variety of issues related to sex, sexuality and my own sexual satisfaction. I only have two close friends I can discuss this with, and my wife is enduring an ongoing medical condition which prevents any sexual activity. (If you're new here, I was highly active - even promiscuous - in high school and college. I experimented a lot, and retain many of those sexual attitudes, if not...

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I met a friend for cocktails last night and she and I got around to the topic of sexiness and appreciating someone's appearance. What we commonly refer to as "checking out" that person. We don't mean anything by it other than an aesthetic look at something we like. We just like to look. (I've mentioned my love of looking before, referred to officially, as scopophilia. Which,as a photographer I just do naturally.) In modern American society it's unacceptable to objectify another person, and I get that. I really do. And I genuinely respect any other person - male or female - as an intelligent human being (until they prove me wrong). Christopher Meloni's legendary ass But, dammit, I like to look. If a woman is wearing a low cut blouse,  I am attracted to her cleavage. I'm a cleavage guy. I think women's breasts are beautiful, in any shape or form, and when presented with them I'd like to appreciate them. If a woman is taking contr...

If you don't recognize the titular reference, it's for a character from the tv show The Big Bang Theory. Kind of an appropriate show name for this topic, which is sexual experimentation. I am a firm believer that people of proper consensual age be encouraged to experiment sexually. Most of us do, anyway, but sexual and mental health depend upon a secure and enjoyable sex life. Without societal permission to explore sexual wants and needs we can assume roles which are not fully rewarding, and, in fact, can be quite damaging. I know this sort of thought is unusual, and will certainly never happen in modern American society. Many Americans have enough trouble understanding that they need to keep their minds and laws out of someone else's bedroom, let alone letting little Johnny or Sally try same-sex oral. Or multiple partners. Or anal, or mutual masturbation, or, or, or... Part of our sexual identity forms as a result of experience. Lacking that experience can lead t...

Like most people, I have an active fantasy life. Sexual, social, aspirational. The things I know are unlikely, but I still daydream about them. Winning the lottery. Moving to a fabulous New York apartment. Being nominated (and winning) a major award of some kind. Of fulfilling myself sexually at an exotic resort in the Caribbean. These are all fantasies of one sort or another, and almost all of us entertain them at one point or another. And in some cases, those fantasies can come true. In my own fantasy life my daydreams run to some fairly pedestrian levels. And in many cases I managed to fulfill them in some previous iteration of my life, and the fantasy is to have the opportunity to do it again. Chances are remote I'll ever have the chance to have a threesome again. Or fuck on a remote beach. Or wander around naked around friends. On the other hand, it's entirely possible I'll find myself naked in the pool or hot tub with friends...just no sex involved. Which, f...