Anyone who takes a moment to look at the shear volume of posts and topics on this blog can reasonably assume I think a lot about sex. True. I have physical, aging and emotional things I'm working through, and this is part of my therapy. In its own way, the blog is kind of my time on the couch. One of the fundamental things on my mind as I review and talk about my sexual issues is the question of how I got to the place I am now. What formed my personal attitudes and sexual appetites, and how does/did my my physical health inform them both? In short, to spare the reader some time, I'm an overweight middle-aged man who's entire current sex life is essentially masturbation. I'm very happily married to a wonderful woman, who happens to be experiencing some significant traumas medically, leaving her unable to have vaginal intercourse. She doesn't like oral sex, and neither of us is into anal. Her difficulties aren't the focus of the blog, but help frame my c

Like most people, I have an active fantasy life. Sexual, social, aspirational. The things I know are unlikely, but I still daydream about them. Winning the lottery. Moving to a fabulous New York apartment. Being nominated (and winning) a major award of some kind. Of fulfilling myself sexually at an exotic resort in the Caribbean. These are all fantasies of one sort or another, and almost all of us entertain them at one point or another. And in some cases, those fantasies can come true. In my own fantasy life my daydreams run to some fairly pedestrian levels. And in many cases I managed to fulfill them in some previous iteration of my life, and the fantasy is to have the opportunity to do it again. Chances are remote I'll ever have the chance to have a threesome again. Or fuck on a remote beach. Or wander around naked around friends. On the other hand, it's entirely possible I'll find myself naked in the pool or hot tub with friends...just no sex involved. Which, f