I got an email the other day asking whether or not I ought to just admit I'm gay. The writer noted that the majority of my entries seem to focus on male/male relations rather than the more traditional male/female roles. And yes, I get that. To the long term reader I have to admit it looks like I'm far more than the "20%" I suggest here and elsewhere. I am bisexual, but have a much greater appreciation of male/female sexuality than perhaps the majority of my posts suggest. When I started this blog it was to go into and examine my sexuality. As a late-50s male I'm confronting a variety of issues related to sex, sexuality and my own sexual satisfaction. I only have two close friends I can discuss this with, and my wife is enduring an ongoing medical condition which prevents any sexual activity. (If you're new here, I was highly active - even promiscuous - in high school and college. I experimented a lot, and retain many of those sexual attitudes, if not...

I strongly believe that each of us should have an intimate friend above and beyond our spouses. By intimate I don't mean sexually, I simply mean we have someone with whom we can talk about almost any topic, touch in intimate ways (not sexually, but intimately) and be ourselves. I mean someone who we can hold and be held, metaphorically and physically. Our spouses are the first line of support, obviously, but there are topics and issues which, of necessity,  you cannot discuss with them (sometimes they themselves are the topics in question). Guys have to talk to guys, and women have to talk to women (or, if you're lucky enough, someone of the opposite sex). There are times when you need someone who can simply be there for you, as both a sounding board and - sometimes - just to put their arm around you, pull you in tight and tell you it's going to be okay. So we need to have that other partner, with whom we can openly talk and be intimate with. For a long whi...

I'm sitting here in the dark in my home office wearing nothing more than a t-shirt, and naked from the waist down. I commented on it just recently here on the blog that it's my preferred mode of attire. It's a comfortable and open way for me to be. If society let me, there's a chance I'd never wear pants again. Unfortunately, it's not how I can always dress at home. I would love it, but it makes my wife uncomfortable. She perceives it as a sexual thing, not as a matter of comfort, and anything sexual, in her mind, is a cause for stress. I swim nude in our pool and lay out that way, which she is fine with, but sitting pantsless on the couch is not. (I always put a towel or underwear underneath me - I'm not a total beast.) Preferred style of dress On vacation I will often take time to go without pants. I simply love the feeling of being unconstricted and open. It's not a sexual thing, and I've mentioned on previous entries that I have don...

I'm having a relatively difficult time at the moment when it comes to sex. I've mentioned that my wife, through absolutely no fault or choice on her part, has become very sex-averse. A medical condition has made intercourse painful, and she's not into oral sex. Which leaves the very occasional hand job. It's not terribly satisfying to me since it's the sort of thing I can do myself. I'm sexually very adventurous, yet I'm now essentially celibate through no choice on my own part. I was discussing this with my friend a week or so ago, and he - being more than a little old school - was shocked. In his opinion she has to satisfy me. In his mind it's part of the "wifely" duty. I didn't tell him this, but I find myself put off by this sort of attitude, and I am certain my wife's reaction to being told it's her duty to get me off would be greeted with...well, let's just say it wouldn't go well. Nor should it. It isn...