INTIMACY IS NOT SEX

 

 

 

 

 

So medical stuff still dominates my physical body, but things are improving. I'm down to to my best weight in the last 25 years, and am exercising 40 minutes in the morning as well as my typical day at work, which involves 10 hours on my feet and carrying 40 pound boxes up and down ladders.

Yesterday I was able to lay out by the pool for the first time in more than a month, and it was genuinely relaxing. And, as I've discussed, I was naked at the time - should be interesting early next month when I go in for a complete dermatological workup. Usually I leave my underwear on, but given the sun exposure on my genitals last Summer, I'm not sure if this year's exam will be a bit more personal.

Later today I have my annual physical, which is my first in two years thanks to COVID-19. Since my last exam I've had the surgery on my groin to remove my left-side vas deferens. For years my pain and the texture of the vas was misdiagnosed as a varicocele - basically a varicose vein on your testicles.

Since the surgery, which was successful in removing the pain I'd been suffering for a decade, I've had some residual discomfort from the scar tissue. A recent ultrasound noted a varicocele in the right testicle, and stating that there is no sign of the one on the left. Since they don't heal themselves, I can only conclude that the vas was what they were seeing, which calls into question what they're seeing on the right.

Yeah. It's complicated.

So I get a physical today and catch my GP up on the rest of the last year or so. Then, next week the dermatologist and one of my two urologists, followed the week after with a meeting with my second urologist, the guy who made the correct diagnosis and removed the problem.

So. You're caught up.

Another topic I've discussed from time to time is whether or not I'm a naturist. I spent some time considering this while I was laying out yesterday - laying naked in the yard is a perfect time for some meditation on different topics.

I exercise naked in the morning. It's convenient to eliminate the restriction of clothing when I'm working out. As I've noted I used to be a dancer and my daily routine consists of watching a series of Youtube videos and moving in a dancelike fashion, focusing on specific muscle groups as I go along.

I also swim nude and lay out, as I've mentioned above. And I sleep that way.

But - and here's where I draw the line at being labeled a nudist or naturist - I don't spend a lot of the in-between time naked. Don't really want to. Right now I'm in my underwear as I type and typically I wear shorts and a t-shirt around the house.

I think my attitude is best summed up as not really caring much about nudity. If I'm naked, fine. If someone else is, fine. If we both are, fine. It's just not a sexual thing for me.

Not sex

 

Sex

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(I've found that a lot of people can't make the distinction between nudity and sex, or sex and intimacy. Sex is when you're trying to reach orgasm or pleasure someone else. Intimacy is sharing a touch or cuddle, without orgasm being involved. In short, am I trying to get myself or someone else off or simply enjoying a close bond with another person? I can differentiate, but not a lot of other people seem to be able. As we age, I think we get more and more of an ability to see it that way, however.)

And there are times I'd love to pursue some social nudity, but my wife suffers from poor body image and there's not much opportunity with friends these days. I often think I'd love to do my exercise with a buddy but logistics, COVID-19, and the first-in-the-morning hour kind of eliminate that possibility.

I've started an Instagram account under my real name to discuss my weight loss program and exercise routine in an effort to maintain my enthusiasm and focus.

But things are looking up. Pun intended.