RESTORATION

 

Forgive me, Padre, for it has been many months since I last confessed. The truth of the matter is that I felt I was beginning to be repetitive in much of my posts, and wanted to wait until something new presented itself.

Things appear to be going quite a bit better with my health, at least where my groin is concerned. The surgery to remove the vas deferens on my left side has really fixed the constant pain and bruising I had felt for more than a decade. A huge relief by any standard. I still have some remaining post-surgical scarring to deal with, and the left nut is still a tender to the touch, but both things are slowly resolving themselves.

My sex life remains non-existent and will be so for the foreseeable future. My wife's condition is the same and I won't press the issue. Any orgasm is a solo act these days.

On a more fun and upbeat note, in the last month I've enjoyed several instances of NMNM (Naked Male Naked Male), CFNM (Clothed Female Naked Male) and CMNM (Clothed Male Naked Male), being the "NM" part of each of them. I've decided that I feel perfectly comfortable being nude in front of other people. It's not really a sexual or exhibitionist thing, it's more of a comfort thing, a letting down of the guard and essentially "baring" myself to another person. 

It's funny. My wife went on a girl's weekend with a friend of many year to celebrate that friend's 60th birthday, and I declared I was going to make my alone time my own personal "spa days." I laid out under the sun, spent some time in the pool and treated myself to longer-than-normal showers. I was definitely nude a lot of the time (more about that in a moment), but clothed enough of the time that I really don't consider myself to be a nudist or naturist. In fact, my wife and I talked the second night she was away and when I told her a friend had come over - the guy I often refer to as my Best Buddy here on the blog - she laughing asked if we'd gotten naked. 

When I said we had - again, more about that in a second - she laughed and said she thought I wanted to be a nudist. But when she said it, I happened to be wearing clothes, even though I was alone and in the house. So, yeah, I don't think of myself as a nudist or naturist, but just someone comfortable being naked around other people in a completely non-sexual fashion. My new phrase is "Intimate, not sexual."

So, each of the scenarios of being naked around others occurred within just a few days of each other. The CFNM was with my wife in the pool when she got back home. She wears a bathing suit when we get in together, I don't. When I lay out to dry off she often sits next to me and we talk. Intimate, not sexual.

I was CMNM with both my physical therapist and with my buddy. Each time I spent a good chunk of time naked while they were fully clothed. Intimate, not sexual.

And lastly, the NMNM is the result of a rather happy event. After years of an odd estrangement, things appear to have resolved themselves with my best (male) friend.

As I noted above, he came over to the house while my wife was away. As I've talked about in many earlier blog posts, we used to be closer than brothers, and spent quite a bit of time naked in my hot tub or pool over the years. We're both married and our wives think we're exhibitionists, but in truth it's just a way to be intimate with another guy. "Guy time," we call it. Intimate, not sexual. We used to talk about anything, with no topics barred. Being naked was more than just physical, it was the chance to really bond.

I say used to be because we went through a period of estrangement in the last five years. Not hostility, but just nothing as close as we'd been around five or six years ago. (We've been friends since 1986.) He withdrew, and suddenly began wearing a swimsuit in the pool, and acting a little distant, and at times cold. Politics and religion likely played a role in it - we don't see eye to eye on either of those topics. But in the past we'd been able to set that aside and be close. But that changed.

During the period when I lost both my mother and father, he was nowhere to be seen, despite the fact I had checked on him frequently when his own father died, and during some critically difficult times in his life. It hurt, and despite several attempts to restore that bond, it escaped us. For myself, the trust was shattered.

So he came over the first night my wife was out of town. His wife was off with some friends. I got a call from him around 3pm, saying he was in the area and wondered if it was okay for him to come by. He knew my wife was away, and I figured we'd talk for a while and then he'd leave. Around 4:30 he showed up.

I was alone at the house and skinny dipping in the pool when he arrived. I grabbed a robe before answering the door - we hadn't been naked together since 2016. Remember, this is a guy who not only had I been naked with on more than a hundred occasions, but he'd even started to undress in front of his wife while I was in the room.  It's his penis that graces my blog logo.

So we grabbed a couple of limoncellos and went back outside out on my deck to catch up. 

A few minutes into the conversation he stood up and stripped down to a pair of black briefs. He's exceptionally athletic and even at 60 sports a rocking physique and a nice package. (I used to, but middle age spread attacked me with a vengeance.) 

It really surprised me, and it was like it was his way of aggressively restoring the previous bond and trust between us. And just as suddenly, everything that had gone on, gone cold, dropped away. We talked for a while with him in his briefs and me in my robe. (I may have flashed him once or twice for fun.)

Then, at his suggestion that we hit the pool, I dropped the robe, and he stripped off the briefs, we jumped in and clowned around like two little boys having a great time. We stayed fully nude for the rest of the night and into the next morning, laying out together on the deck to dry off, cooking and eating dinner, sitting in the hot tub with glasses of wine. (Sleeping in separate beds. Intimate, not sexual.) And it was completely comfortable for both of us. 

(So comfortable that while we were lying on the deck tanning and talking, my pool guy came through the gate. I have no idea what he must've thought...)

Around 10am the next day - after we sat in the jacuzzi for morning coffee - he decided he needed to head home. I remained naked while he packed up, and he gave me a big CMNM bear hug as he left. It was an amazing weekend, and I am greatly relieved he and I have finally seemed to put things behind us.

A long overdue entry to the blog, and I hope more good news comes along for me to share.