A NAKED TRUTH

I had a new and intriguing experience the other day. I've often mentioned that I am comfortable being nude around other people, and that I usually spend a portion of the day in my yard sunning by or in the pool. It's springtime and as the temperature gets warmer I'm spending more time in the yard - not too much, I don't want skin cancer - and afterward I go inside to shower and start my day. My wife and dogs see me, but they're all inoculated against a visceral response.

But a few days ago I came in, showered - my wife was doing her morning makeup - dried off, combed my hair and brushed my teeth, then went to the closet to get dressed. As I was standing there I had a feeling I haven't had in decades. I really didn't want to get dressed. I wanted to stay naked, an emotional response I frankly haven't had since college. Nearly thirty five years ago

(My friend who finally convinced me I might be a nudist is probably chuckling right now.)

"Me? Just chillin'"
To me, historically, there was a fundamental difference between being unbothered by nudity and actively seeking it out, which is why I rejected the label of Nudist. I'm certainly okay with being naked, and am a bit of an exhibitionist when I am, but didn't spend time trying to be. Wanting to be.

 That's apparently changed. In the last week or so I've started to actively seek out time to stay nude, including - don't laugh - scooping the dogs' poop in the yard, doing laundry, picking avocados, and even in the early morning doing away with the robe as I make coffee and feed the dogs. (Obviously I dress when I take them for a walk.) (And we have a house guest at the moment, so I am circumspect when he's around. This morning after walking the dogs I stripped but donned my robe in the event he comes into the family room.) 

(If you're nude in a robe are you still naked? If you sleep nude but are covered by a sheet, are you still naked? If the only people who see you are your spouse, medical types, and your best friend, are you still an exhibitionist? Rhetorical questions.)

Pondering life (not me)
It started a few months ago, when I blogged about how being naked helps me relax - I was on a trip and had just finished my morning exercise routine, which I do nude out of comfort and reducing laundry. That blog entry noted that after exercising I felt comfortable just lying on the couch without covering up. Looking back that may have been the start of this new experience. 

As far as I can tell this isn't related to any fetish such as CFNM or any kind of sexual desire. It seems to be simply a preferred state of being that makes me reluctant to get dressed. (Once I'm dressed I don't spend any time wishing I were naked, for example. Odd.) 

It's that mental change that intrigues me. The visceral "I don't wanna" versus routinely donning my clothes after a period of nudity. I'd predicted this as a result of the weight loss, but am still taken by surprise by the reality of it. The emotion of it.

Old Man and the Sea
Of course I don't want to be naked all the time, that's not where I'm at, but when I am already it seems to be a strong desire to stay that way. Momentum, as it were.

(I just had the thought that thank god I'm not doing cocaine any more. I blogged before that coke had the amusing side-effect of making me want to strip, which I've mentioned that other people recognized and were more than happy to supply for me at parties or other occasions.) (I haven't done coke in decades, BTW.)

Curiously enough, my sex drive seems to be reduced. This is convenient since I have no regular outlet besides my left hand, but it's an interesting response. I will note that my erections are pretty strong and Lil Rambler still gives me pleasure when I do indulge, but my interest in masturbating has declined a fair amount.

I still have roughly 25 pounds to lose. The changes already have been physical and mental - and emotional if I can admit. There have been surprises along the way, such as my revelation of the other day. I'm keen to see where I am in a few months if I can maintain the weight loss.

I predicted that once I get my weight down it might be difficult to keep me clothed. It seems emotionally I've caught up to that point.



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