I got an email the other day asking whether or not I ought to just admit I'm gay. The writer noted that the majority of my entries seem to focus on male/male relations rather than the more traditional male/female roles. And yes, I get that. To the long term reader I have to admit it looks like I'm far more than the "20%" I suggest here and elsewhere. I am bisexual, but have a much greater appreciation of male/female sexuality than perhaps the majority of my posts suggest. When I started this blog it was to go into and examine my sexuality. As a late-50s male I'm confronting a variety of issues related to sex, sexuality and my own sexual satisfaction. I only have two close friends I can discuss this with, and my wife is enduring an ongoing medical condition which prevents any sexual activity. (If you're new here, I was highly active - even promiscuous - in high school and college. I experimented a lot, and retain many of those sexual attitudes, if not...

I strongly believe that each of us should have an intimate friend above and beyond our spouses. By intimate I don't mean sexually, I simply mean we have someone with whom we can talk about almost any topic, touch in intimate ways (not sexually, but intimately) and be ourselves. I mean someone who we can hold and be held, metaphorically and physically. Our spouses are the first line of support, obviously, but there are topics and issues which, of necessity,  you cannot discuss with them (sometimes they themselves are the topics in question). Guys have to talk to guys, and women have to talk to women (or, if you're lucky enough, someone of the opposite sex). There are times when you need someone who can simply be there for you, as both a sounding board and - sometimes - just to put their arm around you, pull you in tight and tell you it's going to be okay. So we need to have that other partner, with whom we can openly talk and be intimate with. For a long whi...

Wow, that's an exotic title. Gymnos is the root word for "gymnasium." It's foundationally a Greek word, meaning "naked." The ancient Greeks and other cultures believed that sports was best done in the nude, and a perfectly sculpted male body - because women were property, more or less - was a tribute to the gods, in whose image we were cast. Bacchus was a Greek deity, renamed Dionysus by the Romans who appropriated this god of the grape-harvest, winemaking and wine, of fertility, ritual madness,   religious ecstasy , and theatre. And I have been locked in a mental and physical battle for dominance by these two conflicting philosophies of life. The first is a focus on physicality and fitness. Of being athletic and healthy, enough so that one shouldn't mind being seen naked upon occasion, as with the ancient athletes. For much of my pre-marital days this was my mindset. On the other hand, during my college years self-indulgence set in....

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I met a friend for cocktails last night and she and I got around to the topic of sexiness and appreciating someone's appearance. What we commonly refer to as "checking out" that person. We don't mean anything by it other than an aesthetic look at something we like. We just like to look. (I've mentioned my love of looking before, referred to officially, as scopophilia. Which,as a photographer I just do naturally.) In modern American society it's unacceptable to objectify another person, and I get that. I really do. And I genuinely respect any other person - male or female - as an intelligent human being (until they prove me wrong). Christopher Meloni's legendary ass But, dammit, I like to look. If a woman is wearing a low cut blouse,  I am attracted to her cleavage. I'm a cleavage guy. I think women's breasts are beautiful, in any shape or form, and when presented with them I'd like to appreciate them. If a woman is taking contr...

Over the years my weight has fluctuated quite a bit. In my college years I was fit and had a pretty good physique. In later years I have - I hate to admit - become obese and at-times very unhealthy. Around six months ago I started a new job which involves a lot of activity. On my feet for up to eight hours, sometimes up and down ladders carrying heavy boxes. Fitness is good It's a great way to start the process of getting back into shape. Recently I've started wearing a Fitbit and am averaging around 12,000 steps on work days, and around 7000 on my days off. And the cool part is that I am recognizing all of the "symptoms" of wanting to return to a more fit condition. I am feeling the urge to stretch different muscle groups (and very happy they are presenting themselves as "muscle groups"). I feel great walking my dogs, and having the strength to control them without too much effort. Look, Ma, no tanlines I am also swimming with as much re...

I'm sitting here in the dark in my home office wearing nothing more than a t-shirt, and naked from the waist down. I commented on it just recently here on the blog that it's my preferred mode of attire. It's a comfortable and open way for me to be. If society let me, there's a chance I'd never wear pants again. Unfortunately, it's not how I can always dress at home. I would love it, but it makes my wife uncomfortable. She perceives it as a sexual thing, not as a matter of comfort, and anything sexual, in her mind, is a cause for stress. I swim nude in our pool and lay out that way, which she is fine with, but sitting pantsless on the couch is not. (I always put a towel or underwear underneath me - I'm not a total beast.) Preferred style of dress On vacation I will often take time to go without pants. I simply love the feeling of being unconstricted and open. It's not a sexual thing, and I've mentioned on previous entries that I have don...