Part of my motivation for starting this blog was to deal with a number of elements of my sexuality, particularly as I recovered some of my previously-held sexual confidence as a result of testosterone treatments. But another element has occurred, and I hadn't planned on - but genuinely appreciate - the effect of the shots. I've begun working out and losing weight. Weight that has stubbornly refused to budge for decades. Damn, this feels good ! When I began my treatments I was, more or less, ninety pounds overweight. Fat. Obese. Not a healthy thing for a former athlete, or someone of any background. But I'd eaten and lazed myself into serious health issues and had pretty well given up trying to lose anything. Yes, I'd done all those trendy diets. Jenny Craig, Nutrisystems, South Beach, even HCG injections, etc. On most of them I lost weight - and then steadily regained it when the diet or treatments ended. So last year when I began the testosteron...

Scopophilia - The Aesthetics of Looking I am a photographer, and a good portion of the aesthetic that goes into being a good photographer is a close kissing cousin, if not a blood relative, of voyeurism. I know many of my fellow photographers will either bristle angrily or nod with appreciation...and no middle ground about it. But largely a good photographer will be a bit of a voyeur, looking in on other people's lives and enjoying the fascination of it. Before you curl your lip in disdain, it's a trait we share with an increasing number of humans, as just a minute glance at any tv listing will demonstrate. We're a species of voyeurs who like to observe others of our species. Scopophilia is the love of looking. We all do it. Whether we're honest and label it as voyeurism, or hide behind other, more politically correct monikers such as "people watching" or "tv show watching", it is something which appeals to our more basic, and ...

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JUST CHANGED THE SETTINGS TO ALLOW FOR ANONYMOUS POSTS.  Part of this blog is the desire on my part for open discussion and feedback. The old blog had open settings and I realized this one did not.  It's a very hot day in SoCal, and I made the mistake of spending too much time in the pool. Need to put some aloe on my cock...it's a little burned. 😅

Sexually speaking this is a frustrating time for me. It's one of the fundamental reasons I started this blog, to work through sexual issues in my head and on "anonymous" paper. Only two friends, very trusted friends, have access to reading this blog. For obvious reasons. As I've noted in a couple of previous entries my libido is up as a result of testosterone injections and a newly rediscovered physical strength that is a direct result of the t-shots. I've become far more physically active and exercise on a daily basis - usually twice a day. My body is responding in ways I haven't experienced since my twenties, and I am surprised at how bad I'd actually gotten to feel. After only a few months (6) I have solid muscle tone in areas which  have been complacent for decades, and quite a bit more stamina as a result. Along with that new physicality Lil Rambler is up and active several times a day, an activity level I haven't had in at least two decad...

"A hard man is good to find." - Unknown I've awakened several times in the last few weeks with morning wood. This is something new for me, and probably hasn't happened for at least ten years, perhaps longer. It's a pleasant experience and something that, in a way, reminds me I'm male. But it's been a long while since I last was awakened with Lil Rambler asking for attention. And now we know why. One of the more intriguing experiences of the last couple of years is my diagnosis of low testosterone. The symptomology was there, but for some reason the doctor (my GP) never caught it until I was well below the threshold for a healthy male. I knew that "Lil Rambler" wasn't up to his former self, and my interest in intercourse and other forms of sex had waned. Intellectually I was still fascinated by the topic, but the body, which had grown - to be brutally honest with myself - had grown fat and flaccid. "Former Athlete's...

Like almost anyone there are times I like to be naked. I'm not a nudist, or a naturist, but, for example, I love to swim without the unpleasant baggy shorts men now wear. I prefer to be naked. Yeah, on the design side the swimsuits are fashionable for a man's physique and look better than Speedos on a fat guy, but in their current mode they're also TOO baggy, TOO big and frankly get all gummy and gross when you actually use them to, you know, swim. And they drag. So I swim nude. I also like to be naked in the hot tub and spa. Who doesn't? (Other than very shy people, and very repressed and judgmental religious sorts.)  (I won't impose my sensibilities on the former, but the latter can go fuck themselves.)(Non-judgmental followers usually join in the nudity, so...) I like sleeping naked. Many people do. And I enjoy going to a nude beach and just relaxing in the sun and surf. And, ultimately, after a few drinks, drop trou with a good friend and just tal...