THE ART OF TABOO

As I write this I have recently been banned from a particular online sexual forum which shall remain nameless. It was unexpected and a bit embarrassing. I ran afoul of their age-related guidelines when I responded to a question regarding your first sexual experience. Since mine was a few years before 18, I commented on my first post-of age sex while noting it wasn't my first actual time and made reference to that fact with a link to this blog for the details of that first fuck. 

Oops. Sorry guys.

So, lifetime ban. Yeah, I get it and am not protesting it. Just moving on. Anyone who reads me regularly knows I am dead-set against both underage- and victimizing sexualization. I'm sanguine that the moderator just has a solid red line and I'm okay with that, though it has to be acknowledge that for many of us sex began before 18.

But it brings up the subject of our various taboos. What we can talk about, and what can we do, depends greatly upon who is there and what are their own "red lines."

I'm reminded of the unfortunate incident - several decades ago - of a co-worker of mine who told a rude joke to another employee in the office. The first employee was (and still is, to the best of my knowledge) a woman, and the second was (and is) male. Both thought the joke was funny. 

(This was during the mid-90s, before the zero tolerance guidelines were invoked by many companies.)

Unfortunately for my friend, another employee overheard the conversation from the far side of a cubicle wall. Neither participant knew the cubicle was occupied, and had they known likely would have dropped the subject or moved away. But it didn't matter. Two days later the employee who told the joke was shown the door and the other given a letter of reprimand.

I use this example to illustrate that there are levels of tolerance in society for various taboos. And I think it all falls down to "know your audience" and "buyer beware."

I talk about and illustrate some pretty sexual topics. It's the point of the blog, and as I've noted it's primarily a form of therapy for me. If it helps someone else dealing with a similar situation then even better. (My medical entries and entries regarding male-male bonding are easily the most popular. Not because they're lurid, but because the topics sound familiar and challenging for readers.)

To access this page you need to have confirmed that you understand there might be some graphic stuff, and that these are adult topics. Most of the entries aren't designed to excite you or serve as whacking material - heaven knows you've got a lot of much better options - but is here for me to discuss stuff that might resonate with others. And every once in a while I might discuss things which other sites would find taboo, such as under-age nudity and sex. Not in a lurid way, in an analytical way.

I was naked in front of other people as a boy, hit puberty at 14, and had sex for the first time at 15. Those are facts, not kiddyporn.

But everyone has their own standards and I respect that. In the same way if I'm confronted by imagery or stories I find offensive (not into scat, for example), I move on and register never to back to wherever I saw it. Kiddyporn and victimization I particularly find offensive.

An example of victimization involves a subject I've discussed frequently here. CXNX - Clothed Person Naked Person, or specific variations such as CFNM, CMNM, etc, is something *I* enjoy as long as everyone present is okay with it. 

(I don't want to be that guy overheard telling an offensive joke over a cubicle wall.) 

The difference between CFNM, for example, and criminal flashing is that with CFNM the clothed female is engaged and enjoying. Flashing denotes that the other person wasn't expecting nudity and may not be okay with it. That person is a victim and the act of flashing is assault.

If you go to a nude beach you should expect to see skin. If you are in the parking lot at a Walmart, you shouldn't. Unexpectedly walking in on someone masturbating is an accident. Staying to watch is consent. But backing out and apologizing, only to be followed by the person continuing to masturbate is assault.

If fully consensual these sorts of erotic things ought to be fun. Teasing. Sex itself ought to be a blast, not an obligation. One of the reasons I don't have sex these days is because - for my wife - it's not fun. Which also means to me it's not fun. We have a lot of other ways to enjoy each other's company, some of which can be quite sensual or erotic without being sexual (CFNM, for instance). The fun is in the mutual, playful experience. 

Sorry for a bit of a rambling and unexciting commentary today. This will undoubtedly be one of the entries that struggles to find an audience - not all of them can be Little Rambler and the Tiny Paper Speedo - but I felt I had to comment on where you can expect me to go, where I've been and what this blog is all about. The subtitle is, after all, "One middle-aged man's take on sex, society, and his penis."*

YMMV, and that's fine. A lot of other sandboxes you can play in.

Don't worry. I promise the next entry will have a lot more humor and fun. I'll leave you with this little bit of levity from my life:

This week I go in for the first of two expect cataract surgeries. I'm almost 62 and it's about time. 

I was talking to a friend the other day and she laughed, saying it's going to be the first time in 25 years I'll be heading into surgery and not being told during pre-op to undress completely and get under the sheet.

It took me a second as I went through the various hernias, stents, lithotripsies and other surgeries during the last quarter century of my life and I realized that she was absolutely right!

Wow.

I wonder what surgical modesty will feel like...

"I see we're doing your right eye first..."

* - I suppose I ought to change the subtitle. At 62 I don't think I can lay claim to being middle-aged any more. My thoughts are teenage, my body's old man. What can you do?