PART OF THE SCENERY - SECOND THOUGHTS

I am very aware I'm a bit of an outlier when it comes to my attitudes about nudity, sexuality and my aging body. I am conscious of the societal limitations on behavior and I don't transgress. I'm occasionally and uninhibitedly nude around my wife, my best friend, my physical therapist and a few medical types, but don't "flash" anyone else.

I point that out because in the course of reading the variety of online forums relating to nudity, masculinity, and exhibitionism, there are a small minority of participants who promote a more aggressive approach bordering on and sometimes deliberately encouraging outright assault. Not rape, but flashing people who not only aren't prepared for it but are offended by it. In many cases men are deliberately getting erections. That's assault, guys.

Don't mind me, I'm just the scenery
A few months ago I posted a piece based on a comment made by a friend to the effect that women don't see nudity in the same framework as men. That a wife seeing her husband nude wasn't anything, in and of itself, terribly erotic or remarkable.(Everyone is different, and this doesn't apply to every woman, just as my attitudes don't apply to every man.) 

My friend mentioned that I am nude frequently enough that my wife was probably just accepting it as "part of the scenery." At the time, I took light offense.

(Quick note: I don't hang around, pardon the expression, naked most of the time. I undress for showering, swimming, exercising, and tanning. On vacations I tend to hang around in the hotel naked when possible, particularly in warmer climates. At the moment I'm at home wearing a robe.)

But as I've been considering it, and as I've read a few of the posts on one particular forum, I've come to realize that my nudity as "just part of the scenery" is a good thing. 

Going back to my friend's original comment, I was actually a bit hypocritical given my oft-stated position when it comes to being naked around other people. I've openly admitted that I enjoy being nude with other people when it's not an issue, when it's not a point of discussion. I once put it: unremarked and unremarkable. Casual.

That is, being part of the scenery.

So, here are my second thoughts on casual nudity and being part of the scenery: it's a good thing. Consensual nudity around others is a form of trust, a way of bonding. It's not sexual unless you want it to be. If it's not consensual, it's assault. If you're erect, it's sexualization. 

But simple nudity can be intimate and bonding without being sexual. And it can be lightly erotic without being assault. But most importantly it is a way to demonstrate trust in others and that you, in turn, trust them.

"Yeah, this is my inmost self..."
an analogy to this can be found in the otherwise not very good sequel to Planet of the Apes. Humans have mutated due to generations of radiation exposure, and keep their faces covered by masks to maintain their appearance as "normal" beings. In their most intimate rituals they peel off the masks with the phrase "I reveal my inmost self."

Context, is everything.




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

LITTLE RAMBLER AND THE TINY PAPER SPEEDO

Image
  I’ve mentioned in previous entries that when I’m traveling I like to get bodywork. Massages and the like. Last February I posted this entry regarding a particularly good session with a Thai practitioner and how I would love to emulate that experience. Fast forward to June. My wife and I are traveling overseas and find a really good Asian massage place not far from our hotel. My first session was a good one. Deep bodywork and a positive result after days of travel. The only unfortunate, as far as I was concerned, was the need for me to wear either my underwear - cotton boxers - or this ridiculous paper thong that was two sizes too small. But, weighing the options the embarrassing thong went on and the bodywork was good. To put it bluntly, the thing barely covered Lil Rambler and both the boys - and virtually nothing else. Pubes, ass, pelvis, all fully exposed. But modesty, right? A few days later my wife and I decided to go back to the same massage place for our final night in th...
Read more

RUB-A-DUB-DUB

Image
Last week my wife and I decided to take a short vacation out of town. One of the things we like to do when on a trip is pamper ourselves, usually with massages. I'm a huge fan of bodywork of all kinds, and there's little I find more indulgent and restful than a good massage. We found a local place that had great reviews online, and wasn't too expensive. Thai massage being the featured special, among other modalities.  The salon itself was a very modest affair, as these sort of places usually are. We knocked at the locked front door, and were politely let in by a young Asian gentleman.  The lobby, to be generous, had a small desk, stark white walls and pretty cheesy decor. The host, as a he called himself, handed us laminated "menus" of the treatment options. I went with what they called a therapeutic massage, essentially a Thai massage but using Tiger balm, followed by a soak in what was described as "hot tub."  We finished our paperwork, which also in...
Read more

LOST HORIZONS

Image
Part of my motivation for starting this blog was to deal with a number of elements of my sexuality, particularly as I recovered some of my previously-held sexual confidence as a result of testosterone treatments. But another element has occurred, and I hadn't planned on - but genuinely appreciate - the effect of the shots. I've begun working out and losing weight. Weight that has stubbornly refused to budge for decades. Damn, this feels good ! When I began my treatments I was, more or less, ninety pounds overweight. Fat. Obese. Not a healthy thing for a former athlete, or someone of any background. But I'd eaten and lazed myself into serious health issues and had pretty well given up trying to lose anything. Yes, I'd done all those trendy diets. Jenny Craig, Nutrisystems, South Beach, even HCG injections, etc. On most of them I lost weight - and then steadily regained it when the diet or treatments ended. So last year when I began the testosteron...
Read more