IF YOU'RE SQUEAMISH, LOOK AWAY

I've blogged a lot lately about my current drive for fitness. Not just weight loss, but fitness.

It's a little bit of an obsession as a friend rightly pointed out. (I reminded her she's only getting that impression from the blog, that in real life I have a LOT of other interests.) 

Be warned, this is gonna be another one of those fitness entries with the added offense of personal pictures of a somewhat revealing nature. (I warned my regular readers a while ago that at some point I was likely to post nude photos - which I have in the past but not this many at one time or of more than just some shots of scar tissue in my groin.)

What I haven't really discussed are the specifics of how this weight loss is affecting me. Yes, I've mentioned keto, intermittent fasting (eating in a six hour window each day, fasting for the other 18) and exercise, but haven't shared the impact those things have had on my physiology other than weight loss.

So, for the faint of heart, if seeing an imperfect human body offends or enrages you, click on any one of dozens of my other blog entries for pictures of attractive bodies.

I began this journey in my teens, when I gained sufficient weight (temporarily) to be noticeably chubby. It was only around ten pounds, but I was sensitive about it. It didn't keep me from discovering sex, and learning a lot in a very short time, but I was distressed and got myself into much better shape by the time I was sixteen.

(This drawing is all I have from my college years, but I think it reflects a pretty healthy and fit guy.)

I took nude photos of myself in my mid-teens using a polaroid camera - knowing there wouldn't be negatives. I don't have the pictures and haven't for decades. Hopefully they were destroyed somewhere along the way. Nowadays nude pictures of a sixteen year old would get anyone in instant hot water, but I remember at the time - the first time I'd taken pictures myself - I was satisfied I'd lost the extra weight and was on my way to my peak fitness level in my late teens/early twenties.

In the intervening years between my twenties and now, I gained more than 110 pounds over my wedding weight - which frankly was around twenty below what normal people would have been. I was a competitive dancer and we all ran pretty thin around the waist. I weighed 155 pounds, and healthy weight for my height is between 170-175. My current goal is 175.

2008, 268 pounds

As you can see in the picture to the right, I'd ballooned up to nearly 270 pounds by 2008. 

It was a gradual but relentless weight gain, and had the usual impact on my overall health. I became borderline diabetic, which is now "managed" diabetic. My blood pressure was way up, and I breathed heavily with even minor exertion.

Then, in 2016, my life shifted dramatically with a handful of family events that required me to get much healthier in short order. So I stopped drinking (temporarily) and made minor steps towards actively exercising. I got myself down thirty-five pounds, which was a good start. Then I started a new job in retail that required me to carry forty pound boxes up and down ladders, which accelerated the weight loss and fitness.

That got me to a reasonable level of health by late last year, but still 50 pounds over my goal weight.

Not me...yet

My exercise routine consists of beginning each day dancing to a series of up-tempo music videos. On current "rotation" are songs from Kylie Minogue, George Michael, Years and Years, Walk the Moon and - because it's cool latin stuff - the soundtrack from Disney's Encanto. I set them up as a mix on Youtube, launch the mix and spend the now 40 minutes a day dancing. It's become a lot of fun since my fitness has improved. I've found, honestly, that even at 61 if I'm fit I can still do a not-embarrassing job of dancing.

And over the last year I have been really pleased that this routine, plus the aforementioned keto/intermittent fasting have brought me to within 25 pounds of my goal weight. Still a lot, but I'm going to get there.

I have mentioned the impact of having fitter muscles under stubborn layers of fat. This is the squeamish part - I'm about to show pictures of my body which may blind some people. You've been warned.

This picture shows the "muffin top" covering my abdomen. When I'm standing it's in obvious evidence.

The fat just kind of drapes over the pair of hernia scars I got as a kid (discussed in my previous THE FORMATIVE YEARS entry). It's literally the straight line across my midsection at the lowest part of the fat. If you use your imagination and remove the fatty tissue you can almost see that the layers of muscle are almost flat.

The way it bunches is unsightly to me, and probably to my wife, who is indulging a lot more nudity on my part these days - I'm proud of my progress and enjoy not being (quite) as embarrassed about my body. My not terribly restrained exhibitionist side is having a moment.

This next picture is of my abdomen while lying down - taken while I was sunbathing in the back yard. As you can see the fat flattens out (though there's still a fair amount of it) and I'm definitely within striking distance of having a flatter belly - though standing up it will never be flat because of the scars. Even if I go below my goal weight and have abs of steel I'll have indentations from all three inguinal hernias I've had. In the picture above you can see the line the twin scars create at the bottom of the fat layer, and the third hernia scar is the line at the bottom center of the pic. (You can even see the top portion of the scar from my vas surgery of a year and a half ago to the right of the hernia scar. It's the dark double line mirroring the inguinal crease).

But, every scar tells a story as I've commented before.

This next picture is one I'm kind of proud of. I used to have a pretty attractive chest (or so I was told by a number of people who saw it). The drawing up above hopefully alludes to the kind of condition it was in. I am quite pleased with the way my former breasts are converting into muscles. It's satisfying to put my hand to my chest and hit ribs and muscles versus fat. It helps keep me motivated.

I know I'll never have a teen or twenties body again, the male body changes with age and the abdomen, in particular, broadens. Take a look at pictures of a young Tom Cruise and the fifty year old version. He's still really fit, but the difference is apparent even on him.

A year ago

And these last two pictures - one from a year ago when I was already feeling quite an improvement, the other taken a few moments ago - shows the continued development of my shoulders and biceps. Not a huge change - I was working my biceps pretty well last year - but I actually have "pits."

Hoping this hasn't proven too traumatic for my seasoned readers. Thank you for sharing this journey with me and even without a whole lot of comments the readership numbers show me a lot of people are interested in it. As do some of the private messages I've received, thanking me for letting other guys in my situation know they're not alone.

Hey, if at 61 I can turn my health around, anybody can.

Cheers.

This morning