HAPPY NEW YEAR

Have a number of things I've wanted to post about but haven't done so. Fortunately an entire year ahead for that to be corrected.

Sex and intimacy have been on my mind a lot lately. Or lack thereof. My wife, still recovering from her medical issues of the last couple of years, has become less tactile than ever before. Of course this occurs naturally in most marriages, but it's particularly nasty timing since I've been losing the weight and getting hornier than I've been in decades.

All of which I've discussed before.

But the physical intimacy is the most significant part of my frustration. There's a general consensus that as men age they begin to appreciate cuddling and touch more than we did when we were younger.

(Younger men are pretty much all about rushing to the cock and getting off as quickly as we could.

Watch gay porn with younger men and you'll see what I mean - straight to the groin, pun not intentional.)

But now that I'm into the "upper half" of my fifties I find myself much more engaged in affectionate contact, intimate and otherwise. Touch, of a therapeutic sort such as massage, is remarkably rewarding. Hugging. Holding.

Kissing - just gentle pecks and nuzzles...

I was shocked and pleased when my best bud spontaneously gave me a peck on the cheek a few months ago. I forget what prompted it, but we were getting up after he helped as a sounding board for some problems I was having and he just leaned over, grabbed my jaw and gave me a solid kiss. Surprising since he hasn't done that in decades of friendship.

But it was enormously helpful to my spirit and mood.

There's an Asian-countries term which has some alternate definitions, depending on which source and culture is using it. It translates as "skinship", and generally refers to an intimate physical but non-sexual bond between two people. Mother and child (breastfeeding, washing, etc) but has also begun to refer to the closeness and intimacy between friends.

Women have always enjoyed the ability to kiss, hold hands and walk arm in arm without raising much ado. Seeing two women together isn't a cultural problem. But until the gay rights movement men were hands-off. And DURING the gay rights movement "straight" men were strictly no-touch. But that's changing. Men are allowing ourselves to become closer, bond better. Younger men are being openly affectionate with each other, something older guys like me find startling.

But refreshing. My buddy and I are experimenting with our own bonds and trust, and it's a real surprise as to how empowering it is to be openly affectionate with someone of the same sex. Guards are down and we have what some people might refer to as a "safe zone" with each other.

This year promises to take that in new and different ways. I don't expect it to become fully sexualized - that would change too much of the dynamic of our friendship - but certainly massage and perhaps masturbation in front of each other isn't out of the question. I've done both with other men in the distant past. College mostly, when my bisexuality was a plaything. And my friend and I have been naked together and cuddled while in the jacuzzi. Both have been hard, but we didn't acknowledge or act on it. Which simply adds to the "safe zone" aspect of our friendship.

We'll see. And you'll read about it here.

Welcome to 2018. Strap yourselves down, it's going to be a bumpy ride.