Welcome to 2021. It's been a long time since I posted, largely because I really don't have anything new or remarkable to discuss...until now I guess.  Two weeks ago I had surgery. I'm seeing a new urologist. I think my old one will be retiring soon,  though nobody's saying it overtly. Therefore, new blood. And the new guy is thorough and smart. He's the guy I wrote about last year who, on our first meeting, had me naked from nipples to ankles on his ultrasound table as he examined me from the kidneys to the groin. A month ago I was in his office and the pinpoint of pain to the left of my penis had been bothering me for a while. On a scale of 1-10, it was averaging more sixes and sevens than threes and fours. And within a minute of having me drop trow and groping around he pressed down, right on the spot of pain. "Here?" "Exactly!" He pressed a bit more and isolated it, suggesting it was either a cyst or scar tissue pressing on a nerve...

  In college and High School I had a series of friends you would call Fuck Buddies. Friends with whom there was no romantic connection, however sex was very much on the table. It was in many ways a pressure valve for both of us, letting us have sex outside of a traditional relationship. It also allowed for serious experimentation and education, since none of us - whichever FB it was - had an emotional commitment beyond friendship. No strings attached, just glorious sex. My last and best FB was a woman I'll call "Sarah". She and I last had sex around three months before my wife and I began formally dating, though Sarah did show up at my bachelor party. No sex, but a wonderful late night of CFNM (Clothed Female Naked Male) that probably blew my soon-to-be Brother-in-Law's mind. More about that shortly. Sarah and I were terrific friends in college, connecting some time in our sophomore year. I worked at the school's food service unit to make spending money, and she l...

            (The title of this column refers to the very funny line in BACK TO THE FUTURE, as spoken by the main character's rather befuddled father. I'm not befuddled...much...but density is the focus of this entry.) Denser pubes and a leaner tummy As my regular readers are aware, and as I discussed on my last column, I am going through a period of losing significant weight and putting on some serious muscle. I have a long way to go on both counts, but am over some pretty big (pardon the pun) hurdles already. I'm down 55 pounds from my all-time high five years ago, with only around 35 to go to my current target - I'll re-evaluate if I want to go beyond that point once I get much closer to the original goal. I'm feeling healthier and getting two thumbs up from my cardiologist. Sexually my erections are much firmer than they were, and - unfortunately - my sex drive is higher than any time in the last couple of decades. I say unfortunately because my wife is ...

            Sorry that it's been a while since my last post (sounds like a confessional opening), but life, as it has for almost everyone, has run away with itself. Plus I haven't really had much to talk about above and beyond rehashing older topics.I', still losing weight, though it's slower than before. And I still have no sex life. And we're in the midst of a massive pandemic which has crushed our social lives, but you knew that part already. But in the midst of all that, I'm getting naked a lot more often. My weight loss, although nowhere near done, has given me the self-confidence to wear less and less as often as possible.  I enjoy being naked now, as opposed to being embarrassed by it, and can easily be with other people at the time. It isn't exhibitionism as much as comfort, thought I have to admit there's a part of me that enjoys CFNM, CMNM and times when everyone is socially naked. (That latter one hasn't happened in decades, however. ...

Okay. This blog is about self-discovery and the sexual perspectives of a man in his late 'fifties and somewhat victim - and I use that word very loosely - of the early '80s "I'll fuck anybody" scene. I have been losing weight lately. A considerable amount, with more yet to come. Down fifty,  and another forty in my sites. But that's not why I'm here. I want to examine a lot of my sexual situation from a psychological standpoint, which includes current and changing physiological impacts of the weight change. In many ways the weight loss has brought back some feelings and priorities for me. I've never been exactly modest, but it turns out that being in better physical shape has moved that towards overdrive. If I am fortunate enough to lose the remainder of the weight I want gone, another forty pounds, I am not sure how much my wife will be able to keep me clothed. (Yeah, I'm a little like a toddler in that respect. I think...

Last column I talked about how job changes and other things have led me to a dramatic weight loss, and how that was making me feel both medically and physically. The good news is that I'm down another four pounds, but seem to have hit a wall. So not a lot more to report on that aspect of my physicality. The New Me, tan and all... On the other hand, I'm still enjoying an improved life in other ways. Lil Rambler has become visually larger, a result of the fat pad which surrounds all of our genitals becoming significantly decreased. A thinner man will have lower amounts of fat, therefore exposing more of the shaft of the penis - as you lose weight the dick itself doesn't get longer, it just seems to as the fat retreats. At present Lil has gone from being almost embarrassingly hidden, to usually hanging 3 or so inches limp. I makes a difference. Physically and psychologically. Another aspect of the decreased weight is Rambler's improved function. My erecti...

Stars when you shine, you know how I feel Scent of the pine, you know how I feel Oh, freedom is mine, and I know how I feel It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me And I'm feelin'... good In my usual line of work I am exposed to a lot of people (no, not like that). I interact with the general public in a large specialized retail location making specific recommendations consulting on foods, wines and spirits, and am considered to be an expert in aspects of my field. So, in the interests of my health versus the coronavirus we're all fighting right now, I asked my management to give me time off until this all corrects itself. My wife's medical issues - and my own - make us more vulnerable. My boss was reluctant, and instead proposed a new night shift which I would manage. Just me and a small team to stock shelves and move freight. Very physical work. "Eh, who needs a Speedo?" I agreed, and began the difficult transition to...