I got an email the other day asking whether or not I ought to just admit I'm gay. The writer noted that the majority of my entries seem to focus on male/male relations rather than the more traditional male/female roles. And yes, I get that. To the long term reader I have to admit it looks like I'm far more than the "20%" I suggest here and elsewhere. I am bisexual, but have a much greater appreciation of male/female sexuality than perhaps the majority of my posts suggest. When I started this blog it was to go into and examine my sexuality. As a late-50s male I'm confronting a variety of issues related to sex, sexuality and my own sexual satisfaction. I only have two close friends I can discuss this with, and my wife is enduring an ongoing medical condition which prevents any sexual activity. (If you're new here, I was highly active - even promiscuous - in high school and college. I experimented a lot, and retain many of those sexual attitudes, if not...

I strongly believe that each of us should have an intimate friend above and beyond our spouses. By intimate I don't mean sexually, I simply mean we have someone with whom we can talk about almost any topic, touch in intimate ways (not sexually, but intimately) and be ourselves. I mean someone who we can hold and be held, metaphorically and physically. Our spouses are the first line of support, obviously, but there are topics and issues which, of necessity,  you cannot discuss with them (sometimes they themselves are the topics in question). Guys have to talk to guys, and women have to talk to women (or, if you're lucky enough, someone of the opposite sex). There are times when you need someone who can simply be there for you, as both a sounding board and - sometimes - just to put their arm around you, pull you in tight and tell you it's going to be okay. So we need to have that other partner, with whom we can openly talk and be intimate with. For a long whi...