The other day I received a rather startled email response from a friend responding to a note of my own in which I said I feel self-conscious, particularly when my weight increases. She was surprised, I think, because I am rather open about the fact I don't really care who sees me naked and who, in turn, I may see naked.  As I've noted frequently here (maybe too frequently?) nudity doesn't bother me under most circumstances. Mine or anyone else's.  But there's a fundamental difference for me when it comes to being fully comfortable with how I perceive myself, versus my lack of discomfort being nude with other people or around their nudity. ( Great article at the HuffPost on how to be more comfortable nude .) A couple of caveats: I don't, *ahem*, press my nudity on anyone. I'm not a nudist, which if you have read previous posts you understand my thinking. If someone sees me naked it's because they're comfortable with it and the circumstances allow it....

As I write this, it's about 4am on a Tuesday morning. I've been up since 2 with insomnia. Ugh. At least it's productive writing time. A few odds and ends and random thoughts. Approaching the end of a second completely chaotic and health-challenged year, a few things have floated through my consciousness.  For almost everyone the reality of COVID-19 meant a near total disruption of our regular lives. A few people have refused to knuckle down and get vaccinated or wear masks, and I honestly think COVID will be a Darwinian event for those folks. I'm vaccinated and boosted at this point and have no severe side effects other than this third arm I seem to be growing from my forehead. 😜 ___________________________ Despite these things I'm soldiering forward and working on my health. I've been relatively lax about my morning exercise routine for the last three months and need to get back on it. We've got a friend staying with us and I've been reluctant to dance...

I'm staring at a blank page, wondering what I want to talk about. I've been percolating on the topic of gender versus gender identity, circling it from different angles and perceptions, but I'm not sure my thoughts are ready for posting just yet. Medically, I've been experiencing pain from the internal scars from last year's surgery, almost a year old at this point. Because of a recent job change I have new medical insurance, which requires I visit my general practitioner to get a referral to my urologist. The soonest they can see me is in January, for a physical. Then I get a referral, which, in the meantime, means all of my testosterone shots - every two weeks - are at my own expense. "Hello again, Doc." (I'm genuinely hoping my "physical" isn't the current "let's read your blood test results" variety. That's not a physical, it's the results of a blood test. Listen to my heart, palpate my abdomen, check my knee ref...