SKIN ON SKIN

When I restarted this blog a couple weeks ago I had some concern that, having previously run out of things to say, it might be expecting too much of myself to find new things and revisit some previous entries. Fortunately, my imagination has kicked in and I find myself making little notes about potential new topics. Enough so I have at least a couple/three months worth of bi-weekly essays to come.

Thanks for sticking with me through this long gestation.

One old man (not me)

It strikes me I need to do some editing on the artwork for this site. The sub-heading on the banner above is "One middle-aged man's take on sex, society, and his penis." I am forced, kicking and screaming, to acknowledge that this is now "One old man's take..."

Yep. I am now officially in the "old" category. When I started this blog - actually when I started its predecessor, which ran for a couple of years before its email account was compromised - I was in my mid-fifties, still technically able to hold on to the Middle Aged aspect of my life. But now, yeah, old.

I consider this to be my post-sexual existence, as noted in my previous entry. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy being sexual, it's just that there's no one to be appropriately sexual with. I'm in the sixties and it's pretty much me and myself. Lil Rambler doesn't quite have the enthusiasm he used to, and my fantasies have largely given way to a more academic view of sexuality. That's what happens when you have more theory than practice.

Skin to skin is fun

One particular revelation has been that it isn't the intercourse or orgasm that I missed the most - the former being a lot of fun, while the latter I can take care of myself (put a marker on that for a second) - it's the skin to skin contact that I feel is lacking in my life (no hint of criticism of my spouse, it's not her responsibility or fault). Humanity is a mostly social animal, and the feel of skin on skin is a uniquely pleasurable and reassuring one.

Skin to skin is built in

Which is why I love massages. I love the sensation of hands caressing my back, shoulders, legs, arms, etc. I am in contact with another human being and it feels wonderful and fulfilling.

For the last six months or so I've been seeing a masseuse not too far from my work. Being honest, the salon itself is a little sketchy (very nice ladies, of course) and probably more of the rub-and-tug variety than any of my previous places.

Not me. I like loosely draped, not a tented speedo

The masseuse I've been seeing for these months - I'll call her Dot - is wonderful. She clearly has legitimate massage skills. Several times I went to see her when I had a shoulder injury, and she was right on it, sensing where the sore spots were and applying serious technique to get them to loosen up. Skills belying simple rub and tug sex worker levels, Dot is trained. She's Asian, and likely came to the US after getting some sort of certification overseas that won't translate to an American market. Her English is quite good, which aided in our building up a solid relationship and trust.

When I first started seeing Dot it was purely as a physical pleasure. The first couple of times I went were to get the lay of the land, so to speak. As I noted previously, at this point in my life I'm not after sex. No handjobs, no blowjobs, no release - none of the traditional sex massage treatments. (I don't have any problems with those sorts of massages and have gotten a few in the past, but that's just not what I'm here for now.) This salon gives off both of those vibes.

Dot first impressed me in that she was intuitive and skilled. Two checks up. She also is not afraid of anatomy, which is one of my major frustrations with touristy sorts of massages. They spend more time worrying about draping than they are with just giving a great massage. For the record Dot drapes very loosely, essentially nude when I'm on my stomach, to draping that ends up strictly over Lil Rambler and the boys when I'm on my back. And some exhibitionism as she gradually rolls the drape further down (or up) as she works. As noted, only Lil and the Boys are covered at all times.

I've written up a number of my more pleasant experiences where the legit massage allowed for a significant amount of teasing on other pages of this blog (search "massage"). And that's what I have discovered I enjoy about getting bodywork. The tease. Getting right to the edge without it actually becoming sexual. Sensual, teasing. And that's what Dot gets.

Back to the basics, 30 lbs ago

Skin to skin. Her hands on my chest, back, legs and stomach. Sensual, not sexual. Using her hands and elbows on my back, hands and fingers on my front. Therapeutic on my back and butt, teasing and sensual on my chest, legs and abs. I think of our sessions as the reverse of the mullet haircut. In my case it's business on the back, party on the front.

(And no, I don't get erect. Whether that's age-related or self-control I'll leave up to the reader. I prefer to believe it's the latter.)

And it's the aging thing that I'm fighting. As long-term (long-suffering?) readers will attest, I was once quite active and curious about sex and sexual adventures in my teens and twenties. This new post-sexual part of my life is still being explored and as I (hopefully) resume my fitness and weight loss programs. And the fitter I get the more I relax with clothing.

Just two short years ago I was getting quite fit and closing in on only ten pounds overweight. 24 months later and it's back to square one. Well, maybe square five given how unfit and fat I was a decade ago at square one. 

I plan on getting back down, and keeping you apprised of my progress.

Stay tuned.

"Perk up, lil buddy. I have a Plan"