STRIP-O-GRAM

The other day I was talking to a friend I've known since college - with around a twenty year gap, resolved thanks to Facebook - and he made a comment that left me thinking:

(Roughly remembered) "The one thing I think surprised me about you in college is that you never became a stripper."

What he was referring to, obviously, would be the natural connection between my competitive dancing and my propensity for nudity. And it's an obvious connection, I think. It'd be a great way to make money, and it was a natural extension of the stuff I did in the art department, at bachelorette parties, and dormitory strip poker games. If I could be nude in front of a bunch of people, and could dance pretty well, which I could, why not combine the two and make a little money?

I had the body, or at least a good enough one that I could have worked to develop it pretty quickly - I was in great shape, but lacked the "cut" of most popular strippers. There was money to be made.

All these years later I don't have access to my twenty year old mind, so when the guy mentioned this I kind of wondered why I didn't make the connection at the time.

As best I can recollect I did consider it. 

But despite the triple threat of dancing ability, exhibitionism, and a good physique, I though I lacked one essential ingredient: The Tease.

My friends will tell you I'm quite open and, at times, blunt. And while I - in high school and college - was a relentless flirt (mostly not even being aware of it), there is a fundamental difference between flirting and teasing. And if you watch a good stripper, much of what they do is tease.

I'm not sure if it was a self-consciousness about teasing or just a lack of skill, but I was never very comfortable being a tease. And teasing someone while taking my clothes off has the reverse effect of making me self-conscious about getting naked. 

Someone might walk in on me while I'm naked and it's no problem. (It happened more than a few times.) 

We could have a conversation while I'm nude and they're not, and that's actually erotic for me. I could change clothes in front of them, sit in a jacuzzi or sauna, swim, etc, and I'm comfortable and enjoy it. I did a few "hen" parties (before they were called as such) and served drinks to some pretty enthusiastic women. 

Someone - or even a group - could sit in a chair and sketch my penis, and that's fine, it's something I've already done.  (Well, full body drawing, but at some point my dick needed to be looked at and sketched.)

But if they were to, for example, sit nearby and watch me doing my morning exercises - or worse scream and egg me on - that would be uncomfortable to the point of unpleasant for me. (If you want to join me, that's okay, just don't sit and watch me, regardless of enthusiasm.)

Maybe it's the dancing aspect. Even clothed it would be weird for me to dance in front of someone just watching. Some guys get off on it, and more power to them. But that sort of teasing I just don't do well and don't enjoy. It's the discomfort of performing for an audience which is the disconnect, I think. Of teasing them as opposed to simply being nude around them. Of being the night's entertainment.

Or maybe it was the sleazy aspect of - at the time, remember, the early eighties - porn-adjacent bad reputation of stripping at the time. Dingy nightclubs with disinterested women and leering men. The male stripping business was just getting under way, and while the female strippers strongly discouraged touch, the male strippers embraced it. Who knows, but it just wasn't comfortable for me. It still isn't, but I don't have much of an audience for it. (Maybe this is why when another friend suggested I record my morning routine and post it online I felt uncomfortable and rejected the idea. Thinking out loud.)

Is it contradictory? Perhaps. Is it - was it - wrong-thinking? Also perhaps. 

Perhaps it doesn't make sense. Just another aspect of a pretty weird personality.

Don't bother me, I'm resting