INNOCENT PLEASURES

Pure joy

Some years ago I wrote a short story about a childhood friendship - fictional, not mine - in which a pubescent young boy and a pubescent young woman both skinny dipped and lay out in meadow talking about their friendship with each other. The boy, I think, was moving away and it was rocking their young worlds.

They weren't in love. They were best friends and had been that way since they were small kids. And the skinny dipping had become one of the innocent pleasures of their friendship, despite the fact that adults might perceive it as problematic. In other words, sexual.

Adults see worlds through a very puritan point of view in modern America. The concept that two young people couple possibly be good friends, naked and close, without it becoming sexual is beyond them. It speaks more towards their own mindset than it does the kids'.

No one I know...but they have the right idea

In college I had a best friend and fuck buddy, I'll call her Sally, with whom I could talk about anything. Yes, we had sex upon occasion, but she was above and beyond just a really close friend. Non-sexual nudity became the norm. Not overt - we wouldn't undress and sit down to talk. But if one of us was in an undressed or slightly undressed state we stayed that way when the other one showed up. To us it was being ourselves.

(On a number of occasions one of us would sit on the toilet in my apartment's bathroom while the other showered. My roommate wasn't around most weekends, and Sally would come over to use our shower. She had three roomies, I had one. Apparently Friday and Saturday nights with three women trying to use one bathroom was brutal, so she came over and we talked then both of us would get ready for whatever it was we had planned for the night.)

But it was innocent (for the most part) and we enjoyed that we were comfortable enough to be ourselves.

To me, being naked isn't sexual, though it can be. Being naked is one of the simplest pleasures I know. I love to swim nude. There's a purity about it that is pleasant. A return to the seas whence we came? I don't know, but maybe there is some of that.

I also love laying out and drying off afterward. Closing my eyes and feeling the warmth of the sun and the cooling breeze is relaxing and natural. Wearing a clingy set of shorts distracts heavily (pun intended) from the experience, and at that point I'd rather dry off manually and change out of the boardies. Getting out of the pool or spa becomes a chore rather than a pleasure.

And speaking of the spa, hot tub, jacuzzi...whatever you want to call it...that's another spot that, to me, being unclad is part of a better experience. It helps you to relax, and contributes to that intimacy with anyone who might be with you. If you remove the sexual potential from the equation, it becomes even more bonding. The more people stop thinking of nudity automatically leading to sex, the better for us as a species.

(Men used to walk around our locker rooms uninhibited and bonding with other naked guys either in the showers or the sauna. Now younger men are doing the towel dance and/or wearing underwear into the showers. The freedom movements of the 1960s have led to the deviants among us playing on that nudity, which is frustrating and invasive. Cellphones have made this worse.)

(Frankly, you want to video my ass and post it online? Knock yourself out. By refusing to let you change MY actions I take the wind out of yours. Same concept as with terrorists: the instant you let fear dictate your actions the terrorists have won. Caution, yes, but fear? No way. If you're afraid, by definition the asshats have won.)

(Wow. Way off topic there for a sec.)

I may have related this story before, but my best buddy and I used to be very casual around each other. Naked in the pool or spa, or even just sitting around in the family room after a dip. If the wives weren't there he used to jokingly flash me, usually leaving the towel loose enough that he - just minutes later - just opened it up and sat on it bareassed naked. (Keeping the towel under him, he wasn't bareassed directly on the couch.)

Sadly that's gone by the wayside, which is another story I may have discussed before. I genuinely miss the contact and comfort I derived from that intimacy and companionship.

But we had it.

I go naked when I'm getting a massage or physical therapy. It's very comfortable for me, and my therapist - a great guy and a mentor - has more than once commented upon the fact that professionally he can't do likewise. I respect that but lament it too. But my being nude also allows me to open up to him completely, so what is a physical therapy session often becomes a mental therapy one as well.


Yes, there are times being naked leads to sex...and more power to it. I applaud, obviously.

But there are plenty of other times an experience can be enhanced mani-fold by the simple act of being relaxed about how you are dressed or undressed.

I realize this is a minority opinion, perhaps even a small minority. But it's how my mind works.

Well, and my body.