JUST GOOD FRIENDS

I strongly believe that each of us should have an intimate friend above and beyond our spouses. By intimate I don't mean sexually, I simply mean we have someone with whom we can talk about almost any topic, touch in intimate ways (not sexually, but intimately) and be ourselves. I mean someone who we can hold and be held, metaphorically and physically.

Our spouses are the first line of support, obviously, but there are topics and issues which, of necessity,  you cannot discuss with them (sometimes they themselves are the topics in question). Guys have to talk to guys, and women have to talk to women (or, if you're lucky enough, someone of the opposite sex). There are times when you need someone who can simply be there for you, as both a sounding board and - sometimes - just to put their arm around you, pull you in tight and tell you it's going to be okay.

So we need to have that other partner, with whom we can openly talk and be intimate with.

For a long while my second intimate was my buddy whose cock adorns the top of this page. We're both devoted to our wives, but for several years served as each others' sounding boards and emotional support. He's a great guy and we spent many long hours around each other, usually naked, getting through some tough times. Never anything sexual, though some of that contact came close.

One night it went beyond simple nudity - nothing sexual, but I think it freaked him out. The night we took these pictures, and sat next to each other on the couch.

He had what I think is "next morning remorse." When he gets a little tipsy he's quite an exhibitionist, for one thing. And for another, he becomes very open. Again, when tipsy.


And we had a falling out, Despite our genuine affection for each other, he became immediately distant. He blamed politics - which is possible - but my guess is that is a convenient excuse. I think the openness of the evening was a step too far. Nothing sexual happened, but it was the possibility of it that shocked and affected him.



We had an important bond. We could discuss nearly any topic, and it frequently turned to our sexual relations with our wives. We were sounding boards. The conversations weren't meant to titillate, they were meant to be frank conversations with someone we knew and trusted. Even though we were usually naked, we hugged and held each other. That night we sat bare-assed, next to each other (his suggestion) together on the couch, and spent time just being ourselves with someone of a like mind.

We'd been in the jacuzzi all night, drinking a fair amount of wine, and he decided to remain naked afterward.

Looking back I believe it was the moment he entertained the thought of something a bit more intimate between us. Married guys offering each other a helping hand or somesuch. And, being honest with myself I would have been open to it. I've been sexually intimate with men before, and he's certainly someone I love a great deal. I'd be lying if I didn't admit I've entertained the idea of he and I deepening our relationship more than a few times - particularly given my current non-sexual relationship with my wife. (Long story if you're here for the first time. My wife has a medical condition which eliminates vaginal sex, and she's not really into anything else.)

That night he got an erection (in some of the photos you can see he's a little stiff already). And I think it freaked him out.

Over the next year he became very distant - again, blaming politics - and our frequent nudity together, even in the spa, disappeared. In fact, we haven't even gone IN the spa or naked together for three years.

Friendships

We've patched up the majority of our relationship. I love him and value him in my life, but it's not - and is never going to be - the same as it was. I won't let our relationship be any more than it is right now, which is a good platonic bond between guys.

But I won't let it go any further. Thankfully I have other friends with whom I can have those more intimate conversations, without the intimate setting of course. But for my buddy it's a bridge I won't cross again. I don't think he's ready for it, and likely will never be.

It's sad, for me, given my affection for the man. I'm deeply in love with my wife, but could certainly use a second sounding board and intimate friendship. But he's not psychologically ready for it. Getting him buzzed or drunk he'd likely do something he'd regret the next day, and I won't be a part of that.

It's a loss I regret. It's a loss in my life. But it, to me, is too much of a risk to see if it goes anywhere beyond the current friendship. I miss the intimacy. I miss the holding and being held by another human being who cares. I miss the contact. I miss the possible adventures - nude hikes in the desert, conversations in the jacuzzi, skinny dipping in the pool.

But I'd rather have him as a casual friend than a distant memory.

Not us. And won't be.