ONCE AND FUTURE BOHEMIAN?

Years ago I decided the best description for my approach to life is that of being a Hedonistic Bohemian. In other words, I loved deriving pleasure from life and it formed the basis for many of the habits and enjoyments I experienced. From sexual pleasures to enjoying good food, to good wine (and other drinks), to spending time expounding on all sorts of topics with friends, my life was focused on the good things we, as humans, can experience.

In many ways I still consider myself a Hedonistic Bohemian. I love to wander, love meeting new people and engaging in a social experience. A Bohemian. I love the more carnal pleasures of good food, strong drink and - once upon a time - enthusiastic sex. A Hedonist.

On a recent trip to the Caribbean I spent an hour or more most days on the balcony of a cruise ship with my pants off, or in the ship's bar drinking martinis with newfound friends, or enjoying the tours and foods of the various destinations we visited. And on most days all three in the course of the adventure.

But as I've previously reported I'm more or less celibate these days. Very little in the way of interactive sexual escapades due to medical conditions I won't recount here (not my own issues, but that's another topic also well documented on other posts). Sex is off the table. And, to me, that's a core value in any true Hedonist.

And, much to my surprise, I have lived in the same house a few years shy of two decades. Settled down, driven in deep roots in the town and community in which I live. I have friendships dating back three decades and more. A Bohemian moves around, changes circles, is constantly in search of the new.

And here's my question: If a fundamental aspect of your life goes missing is it fair to continue to use that descriptor to describe yourself?


If you're a retired businessman are you still a businessman? If you're a golfer who no longer golfs are you, still, a golfer? If you don't dance any more, but used to be quite the hoofer, are you still a  dancer?


And therein lies my quandary. Am I still a Hedonist? A Bohemian? Food, yes. Drink, absolutely. Massage, affection, social interaction, yes.

But - other than my own hands, not sexual.

I know at heart I still want to be that Hedonistic Bohemian, but if you take core values out of the equation is it fair to describe yourself that way?

And as much as anything else in my life, that troubles me.