THE ART OF TOUCH

Had a bit of a revelation the other day and am just now getting around to putting my thoughts down in writing.

All of my adult life (and a few years prior to that) I have physically been focused on sexual needs. getting off, for the most part. Fucking, sucking, jacking...

On all of the 'ings' for that matter. My intent was to have an orgasm and give away as many to other people as I could. My physical conditioning was a major aspect of being seen nude. Anything to do with my body reflected in how that changed sex for me. It wasn't just about being comfortable in my body, it was related to how, sexually, it impacted it. And until very recently that was a downhill slope.


But something very subtle has changed in me, and I'm not sure if it's since I restarted my metabolism or something that has simply been building for some time. I want physical contact, but, for me, getting off is now secondary to the physical touch. To being seen and appreciated nude, perhaps, but more in line with physical contact and affection rather than sexual gratification.

This may be for a number of reasons, and it still is an erotic topic. I love the art of touch. Physical contact of an intimate nature. Not to get off, but to simply touch and be touched. Hugging people, particularly while one or both of us is naked. Skin to skin contact if at all possible and acceptable. Or, as I've mentioned in a previous blog, simple intimate touch...not to reach orgasm, but simply to hold someone and touch them either on the genitals or elsewhere in an erotic but not necessarily sexual way.

I find that vastly rewarding.

Recently I went up to a friend's house roughly an hour away. Good old buddy from college, with whom I've shared some intimate moments over the years - primarily during my pre-marital days. But we got back in touch a few years ago and have spent a few evenings naked in my jacuzzi or over at his house. And he's very open about sexuality. He's very much focused on getting off.

The other day I arrived at his house and he let me in. Ten or so minutes later we were both undressed - we're just more comfortable talking that way - and he started to fondle himself. And this isn't the first time he's been comfortable enough to do this sort of thing in front of me. And I assume others. But in my case I have, in the more distant past, responded by hardening up myself and we effectively raced to the finish.



This time was different. I really didn't feel like jacking off, and sat talking to him as he helped himself along. At one point he asked if I was going to join him, but not sporting an erection my body pretty well answered the question. Told him I was okay watching. He shrugged and finished himself off, using a towel he'd fetched from the bathroom beforehand. When he was done he moved over onto my side of the couch, turned his back and leaned back into me. We continued talking for a short while longer, until he asked if I wanted to shower up and grab some coffee at the nearby coffeehouse.

I jumped in the shower and by the time I was done he was dressed and ready to go, and I discovered I was disappointed by that. I was ready to remain nude and visit, but he clearly was ready to take off. I dressed and we went out for coffee.

To him the orgasm was the goal, not the time spent together. But for me - and somewhat surprisingly - the intimate contact was the part I now seemed to crave. I've even touched his cock once or twice, but to hold it not to jack him off. To bond that much more intimately. And like my reaction to finding him dressed and ready to leave, he finds simple touch unsatisfying and frustrating.

In a way this works well given my wife's medical issues. We can cuddle, touch each other intimately without the pressure of sex or making sure we cum (together or otherwise). Just the contact. And it reinforces our love in that way.

It's not about the cumshot anymore (though I'll never turn one down...I'm not an idiot), it's the touch. The intimate contact between people which gives me pleasure. Yes, it's not the sort of thing most people do with friends, and it's a deeply private thing between people, but it also speaks to a level of trust and communication that transcends "just being buddies".

And I like it.

This may change again tomorrow, but it's a bit of a revelation for today.