THE COVERUP

Like almost anyone there are times I like to be naked.

I'm not a nudist, or a naturist, but, for example, I love to swim without the unpleasant baggy shorts men now wear. I prefer to be naked.

Yeah, on the design side the swimsuits are fashionable for a man's physique and look better than Speedos on a fat guy, but in their current mode they're also TOO baggy, TOO big and frankly get all gummy and gross when you actually use them to, you know, swim. And they drag. So I swim nude.

I also like to be naked in the hot tub and spa. Who doesn't? (Other than very shy people, and very repressed and judgmental religious sorts.) 

(I won't impose my sensibilities on the former, but the latter can go fuck themselves.)(Non-judgmental followers usually join in the nudity, so...)

I like sleeping naked. Many people do. And I enjoy going to a nude beach and just relaxing in the sun and surf.

And, ultimately, after a few drinks, drop trou with a good friend and just talk. Or play Checkers, Or whatever.

There's a feeling of being more open and free when we're nude, particularly when it's with other people.

I'm not talking about sex. That, for obvious reasons, requires nekkidity. Some fetishes aside, that is. But without being naked there are a lot of fun parts that are hard to reach (pun intended).

I'm talking about reasonable activities that are simply more fun, more relaxing in the nude.

(In college communal nudity was a foregone conclusion, at least in my clique. Strip poker games, campus pranks like streaking, drunken games, and walking naked in the halls after showering were common - dorm floors weren't coed, though more than a few women made sure they were on the men's floors when guys might be showering. The women's floors were locked, for good reason I think. But I'd hang out in my room with nothing on and the door partly open and not worry about it. A lot of guys in the dorm did the same. Friends might just walk in and if they did they did it was no big deal. Guys would change clothes in front of each other without a second thought. Nothing sexual, though a little bit of peacocking might have been going on.) 

As I've discussed before I'm currently on a weight loss and workout regimen to  regain something more akin to the physical fitness I had as a late teen and in my twenties. Doing pretty well with it although I've hit a few plateaus that irritated the Hell out of me and ran the risk of deciding to forget the whole thing. Fortunately I've become sensitive to the feeling of being bloated and even a couple pounds put back on makes me feel unhealthy enough I go back to the plan.

And part of the "end goal" and primary motivations is to be unembarrassed when those moments in life call for casual nudity. I love being naked with my best friend. It allows our friendship to be intimate (not sexual) and open. We talk about any and everything.

I want to feel uninhibited when I go swimming in the backyard pool and lay out for a few moments to dry off without the thought that aircraft flying overhead might be blinded by the sunlight bouncing off my fat ass.

I want to visit my doctors and practitioners without the fear that they're going to have me take off my shirt. Losing my pants is no problem, but sitting without my shirt on at my cardiologists is one of the most emotionally uncomfortable things I've done.

Nudity is an empowering thing, particularly if it isn't for sex. When I have photographed my friends or strangers in the buff I am usually rewarded with their observation that the experience, though frightening beforehand, is actually envigorating and empowering. Part of this is that I do my damndest to make them feel comfortable and open. I want them to enjoy the experience.

Years ago I was in constant contact with a painter - graphic artist - who liked to work in the nude. He was a nudist who had found a way to enjoy his lifestyle at work as well as at home. He had his own private studio and felt more comfortable without clothes, so that's what he did. Whenever a visitor came to the door he had a small robe he'd don and then remove when the visitor left.

After a couple of times we got together - business conversations, I worked for a printer at the time - I told him I didn't have a problem with nudity and he shouldn't feel the need to cover up. He thanked me and removed the robe, saying this was how he preferred to conduct business but wasn't sure I'd be okay with it. It improved our working relationship as well as personal one. He just felt more comfortable with me and we were able to have a better conversation as a result.

(I should note that he told me once that he would absolutely dress if he had a nude model coming in. He didn't want there to be any possibility of misinterpretation, which I thought was odd coming from a nudist. But business being business I look back and realize he was right.)

(I think he and I may have invented CMNM at an early stage. Clothed Male Naked Male. It's an offshoot of CFNM and CMNF - Clothed Female Naked Male and Clothed Male Naked Female. It's a sort of fetish in which nude and fully dressed people are around each other, though that's usually for sexual titillation. In the case of this artist and myself I was in long pants and a sports jacket while he was starkers. At no point was there touching.)

There was nothing sexual in any way. We simply sat across from each other, or at a light table, or whatever, and talked and worked as if there was nothing wrong with either of our states of dress. And it made for a better relationship.

I firmly believe casual nudity has a place in social interaction. Same gender, mixed gender, group. There is a marked change in relationships when we've seen each other nude, versus heavily covered up. A wall is down.

So I'm working towards returning my body to a more aesthetic form as well as healthier function. I'm just shy of halfway there.

At some point I will become comfortable again. That's my goal.